Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I miss vodka workout Fridays
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
