ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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