When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
