I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize