i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.