fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots