For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
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'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
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I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN