And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
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Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
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What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
