I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
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I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
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OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked