Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.