Texts From Last Night

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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.

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  (402): lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce (1-402): IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE. http://tfl.nu/loe7
  Replies (105) Good night (13140) Bad night (1587)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete

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  (919): I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete http://tfl.nu/qit9
  Replies (18) Good night (3910) Bad night (533)
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  (925): View more from California

  It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.

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  (925): It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article. http://tfl.nu/yngr
  Replies (44) Good night (1340) Bad night (5397)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on

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  (780): She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on http://tfl.nu/l1qo
  Replies (14) Good night (4253) Bad night (683)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Did i throw a brick at someone last night?

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  (361): Did i throw a brick at someone last night? http://tfl.nu/tk7m
  Replies (15) Good night (5757) Bad night (1420)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  His apartment number was 69. I had to.

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  (214): His apartment number was 69. I had to. http://tfl.nu/cn9s
  Replies (22) Good night (8127) Bad night (1024)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.

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  (703): I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver. http://tfl.nu/n7jh
  Replies (23) Good night (5635) Bad night (1924)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great

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  (210): If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great http://tfl.nu/uyht
  Replies (10) Good night (2832) Bad night (1737)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.

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  (425): Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner. http://tfl.nu/26hb
  Replies (6) Good night (2700) Bad night (1166)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.

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  (360): Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover. http://tfl.nu/pu5x
  Replies (4) Good night (828) Bad night (1382)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?

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  (406): Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver? http://tfl.nu/hdgc
  Replies (6) Good night (527) Bad night (2110)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.

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  (631): I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice. http://tfl.nu/lrh1
  Replies (6) Good night (1059) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire

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  (734): Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire http://tfl.nu/5fup
  Replies (6) Good night (1531) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"

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  (612): Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here" http://tfl.nu/wz3j
  Replies (1) Good night (1311) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.

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  (630): He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway. http://tfl.nu/b8m9
  Replies (2) Good night (313) Bad night (628)

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