It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I just sucked dick on a ferry
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
