Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
