"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
