i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
