i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize