Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm too high and old for this...
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
