I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I don't want my vagina anymore.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
