You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Randomize
