just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
