Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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