like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
