Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize