what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
