Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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