He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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