Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
