I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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