just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
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Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
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I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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