i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Randomize
