this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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