How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
