so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
