You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
