Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
