Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
