five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Randomize
