I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The beer is more important than you right now.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
