dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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