There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
