my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
porn star boner night. come get it.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
