the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
