dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
