Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
