omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You made out with two different species that night
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
My vagina is very pro this idea
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
