i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
