And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize