like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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