Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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