What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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