I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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