just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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