i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
