Three words: puerto rican gang bang
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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