perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
