bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I have demons in me.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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