She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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