I don't think brook has ever known best
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
