So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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