i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
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I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
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Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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