Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
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just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
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I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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