is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
