Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
