I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
