i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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