Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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