I can text with my tongue
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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