I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
