I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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