It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I want to be your penis for a week.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
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