Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
