Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
